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Twitter / Home: "Rom 11:29-36-The gifts and the call of God are irrevocable. What gifts or call are we trying to revoke and why? What gifts and call are we most thankful for and why?"

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Passover of the Former Intercessors of the Lamb community

  My dear Brothers and Sisters of the former Intercessors of the Lamb Community,

     As I sat in prayer recalling this day one year ago, through the tears, I can actually find some laughter and smiles. I think about being a people that have experienced something maybe no other community has, not that other communities have not gone through a Suppression, but maybe not in the radical way we did. I mean really, think about it. We were taken away from our life into the unknown, away from many abuses, people we loved and our hearts were broken for, our vows and our call as religious Brothers and Sisters in a Charism that was given to the Church through one person.

     The smiles and laughter? I mean really, a red bus loaded with a sea of teal and white, boxes, suitcases, followed by U-hauls! When I think of the sight I break out in laughter! Hmmm, does it all sound familiar? Moses and the Israelite’s went through the same thing we all did only their way of escape was wagons, donkeys and horses instead of busses, U-hauls and cars!. As the Israelites went on with life, part of that was to share their Exodus/Exile story every year, called the Passover.

     On this day of our Passover, I want to share a story that I have not shared with many of you. When Archbishop George Lucas was installed I was lucky enough to be able to attend. At his installation his homily was on the Gospel of John 21 where some of the Disciples had been fishing, catching nothing and Jesus told them to cast their nets on the right side of the boat and of course they caught so many fish their nets tore. But the main part of the homily was on the part where Peter had swam to shore and had the intimate time with Jesus asking Peter if he loved Him three times and each time Jesus told Peter to feed his sheep, tend his flock…it was a beautiful Scripture given the event of a new Bishop being made an Archbishop in a new Archdiocese. After the homily I closed my eyes and was just saying a little prayer for Archbishop Lucas when I had an image of Jesus saying this to the Archbishop while pointing to our community telling him to “Feed my sheep, tend my flock…, I asked God if he was going to be the one who would help us move forward and I felt in my heart peace and joy. Right after the homily as we were moving from the Liturgy of the Word to the Liturgy of the Eucharist and the Archbishop was incensing the altar, the smoke formed a perfect circle above and around it. This circle of smoke was so thick and it lingered there the entire celebration of the Eucharist! I felt such a presence of the Apostles there! It was also such a sacred feeling and experience that my heart was moved to the point of realizing this must have been what it was like for Moses and the Israelite’s when God came to them in the pillar of the cloud by day and fire by night. God spoke to my heart and said, “Archbishop Lucas will be your Moses.” Again I thought, yes, to move us forward.”

     In January of 2010, God had been leading me to really study Moses and the Exodus/Exile story and it all came together the day we pulled out of Bellwether on our red bus. As we were driving to Schulyer, I sat in the back of the bus with such a heavy heart because most of you did not realize what was about to happen as soon as we pulled away (the suppression) and God begin to speak to me and said, “Remember when I told you Archbishop Lucas would be your Moses? Well, he is delivering you all out of the land of Egypt and away from Pharaoh and all his men. He is moving you forward. As we all used to talk about getting step three…what a big step!!! On the drive, God also told me I would be like Moses, saying you will not cross over into the promise land. I was so disturbed that I ignored it and continued to ignore it for a very long time. We all know God keeps knocking and one day, a few months ago we had the reading of where God told Moses he would not cross over in the promise land after he struck the rock to get water instead of commanding it. Ugh! I knew I could no longer let this go so I let God speak to me about it all. Looking at our sin is not fun, yet it is necessary and I begin to see many things I had been disobedient about in our situation. Also, I really had to look at my level of faith and it certainly was not where it needed to be. One of the biggest things, however, was in this reading, I really saw how Moses, by striking the rock instead of commanding it, was taking away God’s miracle and glory. How? I did some research on this because I was really drawn to why God would not allow Moses to cross over after he had done so much for this nation of people. What I found was the rock in that place was granite, which forms crystal of water and with vibration they broke easily and water was able to flow easily. In other words, anyone could have struck the rock and gotten water to flow, commanding it to do so would have been the miracle and glory of God…Moses took that away from God. When I looked in this and wondered what God was trying to show me personally…I realized that through the entire event of leading up to the suppression and my close involvement in it, I was so caught up in it, out of fear and yes, pride, that I never gave God the glory and miracle in what He had been doing for all of us, especially me personally, in the many way He provided and protected me.

     So, like Moses, I needed to stay in the desert and die, to the lack of faith in God and what was causing it and my pride in this situation and realize it was all God, not me. I also needed to have an attitude of gratitude, understanding I was chosen simply to be an instrument in the Masters hand, which has to be picked up and played, otherwise it just sits, making no music on its own.

     We all, like Moses, have griped and complained to God about the people we were with too. I hope we are all coming into the forgiveness and healing in hurts from others as well and those we ourselves have caused. I ask your forgiveness for any hurts I have caused you and forgive you for the hurts you have caused me.

     Now, like the Israelites, we have all moved forward into different regions, going about searching God’s will in our lives, in a place of freedom. Thank God for our Passover! Our life together as Brothers and Sisters was great, not always our circumstances, but certainly living with you as Brothers and Sisters in Christ. I miss each of you so much…that’s the tears. The smiles and laughter? As St. Ignatius teaches, recall the consolations in the desolations. So, on this day, I think of you Brothers and Sisters, and all the wonderful, crazy, loving, fun times we shared, the beautiful times of ministry, being ministered to, the times of awesome praise, worship and adoration together, and there were many, and I pray that each of you are healing from this ordeal and allowing God to love you right where you are at.

     I dedicate this day, October 15, 2011, as the first annual, “Former Intercessors of the Lamb Passover” day. I will be offering a Spiritual Bouquet of Prayers, Masses, Rosaries and Communions for all of us. May God continue to guide us each on the next part of the journey he has planned for us.

     I leave you with two Scriptures that have been essential for me and I hope they will speak to you too.

Jer. 29:11, “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare, not for woe! Plans to give you a future full of hope.

Deut. 1:29-33, “But I said to you, ‘Have no dread or fear of them. The Lord, your God, who goes before you, will himself fight for you, just as he took your part before your very eyes in Egypt, as well as in the desert, where you saw how the Lord, your God, carried you, as a man carries his child, all along your journey until you arrived at this place. Despite this, you would not trust the Lord, your God, who journeys before you to find you a resting place-by day in the cloud and by night in the fire, to show the way you must go.

Peace and Love to all of you!

Janice

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